Unlearning What To Say & Do

Words of wisdom from a truly kind and compassionate soul.

"A NEW NORMAL" by Celenia Delsol (c) 2022

What’s one of the first things we’re told when we experience loss as young children? When something disappoints us, or our feelings get hurt, or perhaps a more serious loss occurs, such as the death of a pet or a beloved human?

“Don’t cry, honey,” or “Don’t feel bad.” The hidden message is, “Whatever you’re feeling right now is not OK.” Of course, parents and other authority figures don’t intend for that to be the message, but the harm is done nonetheless.

“If you’re going to cry, go to your room.” If someone else is sad we’re told to “give them space” or “leave them alone.” Again, the message is certain feelings are not for public consumption, and that “bad” feelings are to be experienced in isolation. So when we experience loss and respond with sadness and tears, many of us automatically seek a private place, or cover our faces…

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