Just checking in….do you have any scintillating news to share? I do not!


It’s been a little over a month of self isolation for hubby and I. It started on March 13th right after we got back from a trip to the city where he’d had a medical appointment. A couple of days before we left the news about the corona virus was beginning to get more intense. But the city of Edmonton had just two cases, that was on Tuesday by Thursday there were twenty. It was rather stressful being in the city as there were so many unanswered questions, there still are, I know. At any rate with hubby’s health placing him near the top of the list for vulnerability neither of us were keen on taking any chances at all. On 13th of March I also received word from my employer not to come in to work the next day. By Monday we learned the library would be closed until further notice.

So, what to do with all the time I now had on my hands? How were we going to cope? Except for missing my coworkers and the regular patrons at the library I am doing okay. It wasn’t a huge leap for us anyway because hubby’s health has kept us pretty much home bound for years now – so we had practice, not an awful lot of adjusting to do. It is only now, a month later, than I am beginning to chaff at the bit. How much television can one watch without going bonkers? I am not much for t.v. at the best of times, but have been watching much more than I usually do.

I am trying to keep busy sewing home-made masks for whomever may need them. (I need to double-check the site to see who is asking for them still.) I dislike house cleaning but I guess the place could use a spring cleaning. On a positive note I saw two Canada geese flying overhead this morning, a sure sign spring is on the way. I was thrilled to see them. I am looking forward to the spring weather, even if it only means sitting out on the balcony watching the world go by. Admittedly the world is going by at a snail’s pace so that may not hold my attention for long. Then again, I cannot tackle much that requires a lot of attention. My brain is doing the flickering thing like a light bulb about to burn out. Reading books is a challenge, for example, as I often have to read the same page several times before it sinks in. I am just too distracted.

Can you tell I am getting rather bored? What are you doing to handle the boredom? How are you handling this forced isolation? I find it more interesting to read the thoughts of others’ than to continue to sit with mine, which tend to run in circles more often than not the past few days. At any rate, I hope you’re all doing okay and managing the inertia this isolation thing has brought on (well, for me anyway). I would love to hear what you’re doing and how you’re spending your time. Take care everybody and stay safe.

Slow down the quick, quick


These days I have a lot of time on my hands as my husband receives treatment and recovers from some serious issues. I am in the big city far away from home; from family and friends; from work; from the people, pets, and things that make up my daily life. I am grateful to my son and daughter-in-law for sending me a notebook to use while I am here. It allows me to access my emails, social media, and gives me a tool to write with.

 It’s an older model and in combination with public Wifi, it can be a little frustrating doing anything online. Which got me to thinking about the fast pace of life. Being forced to slow down for a spell is a good thing.

I am being taught patience – by a machine no less! For instance, allowing the notebook to do a “performance scan” seems to take forever. I can get pretty impatient with it, and yet I have no choice but to wait until updates are installed and the antivirus cleans things up. Perhaps it is high time I used a personal antivirus program to defog my life – some call it prayer.

It also makes me think of the last time I took serious stock and really reflected on my life. In a sense this time away from home is helping me do a “performance scan” of a different sort. As the saying goes, “the unreflected life is not worth living”. I am not sure who the author was of that bit of wisdom, but I find it so true. It is in the deep reflection of one’s life that personal and emotional growth happens. So, I am doubly grateful for this notebook!

In addition to the path of self-discovery, this extended hospital stay has made me appreciate anew the gift of each minute, hour, and day I have been given and helped me to realize how much time I have allowed to be consumed by technology.

It is as if the universe is sending me a message to slow down the quick, quick.

How much time do you spend online?

The slow passage of time


“Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity.” – Henry Van Dyke

It’s been five weeks and eight days since my husband was first hospitalized and two weeks since he was flown by air ambulance to the big city. Time seems to have slowed considerably.  I have no idea when he may be released, but I have come to accept the waiting and the not knowing.  I am just happy he’s made some improvement, although he is still not well.  And I am exceedingly grateful for my children and siblings who have been my anchor in the storm.

Hospital stays can be tedious for the patients, and also for their loved ones. I have been blessed to meet many lovely people who are here for similar reasons – here to support loved ones as they journey through serious, and sometimes terminal illnesses. People whom have given me the gift of support, and people I have supported in turn.

In this weird and surreal vortex I often have to ask what day it is – time has just lost all meaning. Yet, I am grateful for every minute, even those minutes when I am alone and wondering what to do with myself. (Which is what led me here to my blog.)  I am grateful for the time I do get to spend with my husband – many do not have this luxury. Last night we had a “date night” in the hospital. I bought my supper in the cafeteria and brought it up to his room. Afterward we watched a movie on his tablet – dinner and a movie have never been so sweet.

Time – it really is such a precious commodity and while this situation has been fraught with worry and with stress, it has also been a period of great blessings. And I am grateful.

Waiting


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Waiting

Waiting

Breathing softly

Deeply relaxing

Waiting

The answers come

Slowly, at times

And like a rush of wind

At others

Waiting

Time stands still

In this moment

At this time

And I luxuriate

Indulging

Being

Waiting

A Reflection: Trees


“A few minutes ago every tree was excited, bowing to the roaring storm, waving, swirling, tossing their branches in glorious enthusiasm like worship. But though to the outer ear these trees are now silent, their songs never cease.” – John Muir –

The city where I live is encircled by hills where trees stand along the ridges like silent sentinels. In full foliage they throw their shadows over the streets and give us protection from the heat of the sun. In fall their brilliant colour cheers the heart and makes saying good bye to warm weather a little less mournful. During winter with their branches frosted or ice laden a sense of fantasy and wonder is instilled. And in spring the first green shoots enliven us and breathe new life into our days. I love looking to the hills and to the trees.

Outside the city lays acres of untouched forest that bid me to come explore. I have always felt an attraction and affinity for trees. When I was a child I loved climbing trees – from their great heights I felt less small and insignificant. Now I stand at the base of the giant of the forest and feel  minuscule – a mere speck in the universe as I ponder the tree’s age and wonder about all it may have experienced in its long life. I think about all the small creatures it shelters and all the birds that have nested here.  ‘Grandfather’ I have named it, for it seems to harbor wisdom that only the eldest human might possess.

In my culture trees take pride of place at least once a year as we decorate them for the great feast of Christmas, when friends and family gather to share love and goodwill. Quiet moments staring at the twinkling lights of the Christmas tree are moments that link the years like a strand of brightly coloured beads.

Personally every time of year is a good time to celebrate trees in my book. For what can be more beautiful or graceful than the weeping willow or more statuesque than the Douglas fir? Trees of maple, oak, and birch that shed their leaves upon the earth creating a wondrous tapestry; Evergreens that comfort us with their greenery, even in the depths of winter; Trees give us oxygen, a means to keep warm, and shelter us from all life’s storms. What greater friend can we have than a tree?