NUMB


Numb

Not a great place to be

Numb

Wrapped in bubble wrap

Attempting to avoid the pain

Numb

An anesthetic that flows through one’s veins

Yet, this protection comes at a price

Deaden the emotions, try not to feel

Pain is avoided but so too are joy,

bliss, happiness, awe, wonder

All blanketed in the soft swirling fog

Pain is held at bay, at arm’s length

Thinking that one’s strength is dependent

 on the anesthetic of numbness

But it steals one’s ability to love fully,

 laugh joyously,

live courageously

Numb

A person is a person…


“A person is a person, no matter how small.” – Dr. Suess

“A child seldom needs a good talking to as a good listening to.” – Robert Bault

“A child can teach an adult three things… to be happy for no reason. To always be busy with something. And to know how to demand with all his might that which he desires.” – Paulo Coelho

The other day a family came into the library and one of their little girls came rushing to the desk to tell me a story. She was very excited. They had been to the animal shelter to walk the dogs there. Her enthusiasm was a blessing that added bright moments to my day. Her mother told me they do not have any pets so they go to the shelter on a regular basis to spend time with the animals and to walk the dogs.

This little girl was smiling ear to ear as she told me the pooches’ names and how one was a very big dog and one was quite small. She was bouncing on her toes and her eyes were shining as she told me all about it. I asked her questions about the animals and about the shelter. It was one of the best conversations.

Finally, she told me they were in the library to find books about dogs and also horses, because they also love horses. As we were chatting I noticed her little sister was standing behind her looking very sad, so I asked why. She was sad because she hadn’t wanted to leave the animal shelter, her sister told me. That little girl was too sad to talk, but listened avidly as her sister conversed with me.

Soon, they raced away into the children’s section to find the books they wanted. Not long afterwards they came back to the desk, books in hand to be checked out. The same little girl showed me the books they had chosen and a second conversation about books ensued.

I am grateful. I am grateful for small moments of great joy. Moments when two people communicate. Moments when one person’s joy affects another on a deep level. Moments that remind me the days are filled with blessings when we stop and pay attention. I am grateful for children and their innocence. I am grateful for the reminders to stop, look, and listen. I am grateful.

“To every child – I dream of a world where you can laugh, dance, sing, learn, live in peace and be happy.” – Malala Yousafzai

 

A Manic March


It’s been a tough few weeks. Moving is never fun but I am so very grateful for the people who stepped up to help. Family and friends are definitely the super glue that holds me together. Through good times and bad times they’ve been there for me to lean on, or to help celebrate life’s joys. I feel like I have been walking along a razor’s edge between these seemingly opposite emotions – one minute happy the next grief-stricken once again. Because you see, it was my younger brother, Chris, who so often stepped up to help us, whether it was moving our belongings or something as simple as a ride to the airport, he was always there for us – it’s been four months now since his death, and not a day goes by that I don’t think of him. Even through the exhaustion of moving, or perhaps especially because of that fatigue, he sprang to mind frequently. I remember when he helped us move and also made sure there was a hot supper waiting when the last load had finally been dropped at our new place. I not only appreciated his strength, I was inspired once again by his thoughtfulness.  He was an amazing brother and friend. I miss him.

So, for what it’s worth – I am back! Thank you for reading my blog and I will spare you further exposure to my grief. For those of you who know my family you know Chris was killed when an impaired driver crashed into my brother’s vehicle. So, once again, I implore all of you – never get into a vehicle with an impaired driver; and be careful on the highways and byways, for I would not wish this pain on anyone. Stay safe my friends.