When You Hurt Someone.

We are all only human…. wise and wonderful post here. check it out.

Perfectly Imperfect Blogg

When you hurt someone you care about, nothing about it is easy. 

You hate yourself for it.

You look at your reflection like you are the worst person in the entire world.

It keeps you up at night as you toss and turn overcome with regret.

Because you know they did not deserve the pain you caused.

When you hurt someone you care about, all you do is look back regretting it.

You dwell in the past knowing you jeopardized a future.

But the reality of hurting someone you care about, is knowing you broke their trust that took a long time to build.

It’s knowing you broke their confidence in you.

It’s knowing you ruined the relationship.

It’s knowing and admitting you’re wrong, but what’s done is done and you don’t know how to make it right.

When you hurt someone you care about, you break your own heart…

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A life briefly lived

A life, so briefly lived

I never felt the flutter

Of tiny wings in flight

Just the deep and aching pain

Of empty arms and heart

I didn’t get to know you well

Though you lived beneath my heart

Never got to say hello

Nor bid you a goodbye

Never held your tiny body

Never kissed your downy head

Your time on earth was brief indeed

It was a fragile hour

They said you were not strong enough

They said there’d be another

As if your life mattered not at all,

Your essence an illusion

Child of mine, it’s been decades since

And still I often ponder

Why a life as brief as yours

Carved deep furrows in my being

This gift you left of insight sweet:

That though one may be weak and small

Their very vulnerability hides

A secret glowing soul

That we would all be well advised

To emulate and style

For it is in such needs so deep

We learn humility

So, thank you for your gifts, sweet babe

Your spirit creates such wonder

That I, in turn, feel small indeed

Like a peep to roaring thunder

Child of mind, so brief in time

I cherish and remember you

Warehouse living

Yup – that’s what it feels like – I am surrounded by boxes, like a warehouse. I am so not inspired in this present moment, and I miss you all – your wonderful poems and stories and beautiful photos and artwork. It will take me some time to catch up, once this bloody move is over with. Anyway, here is a photo my daughter took of me and my cat. She’s my number 1 comforter as I pack and purge. I’ll be back….

Summertime and missing the ocean

I was born in Newfoundland and lived there until Dad moved our family to Ontario. Every summer I get homesick for the island. I have so many wonderful memories of playing in the woods or on the beaches. My husband and I would later move back there to raise our own children.

Summer in Newfoundland is beautiful, there are loads of trails to hike, and of course bonfires on the beach as well as swimming. It is a nature lover’s paradise. Recently my brother gave me this wonderful aerial photo of the old house, which, sadly, is long gone. Looking at it takes me back in time. There have been many changes since we were children.

Port au Port West, NL, Canada – photo by Barra Studio

Our house looked over Bay St. George, a wild, tumultuous bay – unlike the quieter Port au Port Bay. This photo was taken on one of the rare calm days. The beaches on Port au Port Bay are mostly sandy beaches whereas Bay St. George beaches are very rocky. It was awesome on a stormy day to watch the waves crash loudly on the shores. It was also the lullaby I fell asleep to.

As a child we often visited our grandparents who lived just a little ways up the road, or to play with our cousins who lived nearby. I also remember going often to Mr. Martin’s house across the road. He had built wooden stairs down to the beach – the steep banks would have been difficult to navigate even for agile children. I don’t know why we addressed him as “Mister”. He was actually our great-grandfather’s step brother – but that’s another story. My husband insists we don’t have a family tree, we have a family forest – easy to get lost in it. But I digress, yet again.

You will see I labeled the photograph. “The old homestead” was built by my grandparents. At that point in time they did a lot of farming, as well as fishing to feed their large families.

“The pond” was formed when Port au Port Bay flooded the area during a storm. After that a breakwater wall was built to keep the bay at bay (pun intended). We used to go skating on the pond in winter – in more recent years it has been used for snow mobile races.

We had a barn on the property where we kept a cow and chickens, and, from time to time, a pig. I remember what fun it was jumping from the hayloft down into the hay below. It was not an easy life for our parents. There were a lot of chores to do from cutting wood for the wood stove to making home made bread to hauling water – we did not have indoor plumbing – that was a task my older brothers especially detested on laundry days. Everybody had chores to do from eldest to youngest. Still, I am so grateful to have been born there and to have these memories to treasure.

So once was I

Fog and drizzle, damp and gloom

Bar the light from shining through

Like opaque window panes

Yet far above the thickest clouds the sun beams wait

And enter in through the smallest fissure

So once was I

My spirit daunted and in darkness lingered

Until you came and chiseled out a cleft into my being

Through raging storms and love unborn

Past dark and threatening shadows you came

A light so brilliant it put the sun to shame

Such warmth you poured upon my soul

Until I was dethawed

So that now I stand in wonder

That I’ve lived at all

To forge a better life

Help me forge

a deeper connection

with You, Creator

Help me seek

to see you

in all others

Not just those

who look like me

or act like me

but ALL others

Help me seek

to hear you

in the words of others

And when I fail, O God

Grant me strength

to try again

Found a place to live

I dislike moving intensely and what with hubby’s health issues and work, it’s going to be challenging. But, we did finally find a place to call home. This time it’s an apartment, which will be a big adjustment and we will have to downsize once again. Purging cherished items can be difficult, but the up side is that there will be less to haul.

The new place looks over a park and there is a walking trail not far from the back of the building. So, at least we will have a nice view. I have to get back to packing, but I am taking a bit of time to myself today. I just wanted to let the people who follow my blog know that we have found something that I think will work for us. I appreciate you all more than you could possibly know. If I could prevail upon your kindness, please keep us in your thoughts and prayers as hubby cannot lift or haul anything at all so we will need a lot of help. Yet, God is good and has provided for all our needs thus far. I will trust in the divine. Have a great day and a wonderful week. Until next time – cheers!