He was a very funny little guy and much smaller than his classmates, but his heart, oh my, his heart, that was bigger than words can describe with any sense of justice to a very kind and humane man he grew to be. Giving came second nature to him. Sharing was never something he struggled with, and that never, ever changed. He was brave. He was courageous. He was smart and caring and compassionate. Today marks the third-year anniversary of a terrible day for our family. The day that big, loving, generous heart stopped beating, forever. And the day that left a hole in each of our hearts that time does not heal and dates such as this reminds us of just what was lost on that highway. That highway. That day. When time stopped as we tried our best to wrestle with the shock and dismay; the pain and the sorrow.  That sorrow and pain that we continue to struggle with because it was all so very preventable and so surreal.

Surreal because he did not die of natural causes. Surreal because he was stolen. He died at the hands of an impaired driver. And so, it hurts more, somehow, knowing he had absolutely no control over his fate as he drove home that day.  I try very hard not to go there, not to imagine what he was feeling as he came upon that car hurtling toward him with no place to go to safely avoid the collision. But on this day … on this day it is nearly impossible to avoid thoughts of him. And thoughts of him invariably morph into the manner in which he died. To add salt to the wounds the impaired driver walked away with barely a scratch. A bump on his head and a sprained wrist the only evidence of his crime.

The impaired driver was found guilty of criminal negligence causing death and received a prison sentence. It doesn’t matter much because one day that impaired driver will walk free. Our brother walks free too, on the other side of the veil where we cannot see. All we can do is pray for strength and courage to carry on. And, perhaps with the grace of God, emulate to some degree the empathy, kindness, compassion, and love that were his hallmarks. Please, Divine One, let us follow his example.

18 thoughts on “An example to follow: My brother, my friend

  1. I am so sorry Carol. What a terrible anniversary for you. What pain is expressed here. The torment of what occurred is tangible. No words can suffice Carol. But you have my love and caring. ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Oh, I am fine, really I am. I wrote this last evening when the thoughts of Chris were uppermost on my mind. He really was a wonderful human being. We miss him, of course. I write about the way he died to hopefully shed a light on what can happen when a person chooses to drive impaired in any way. So many people hurt in the aftermath, including the impaired driver’s family and friends and the impaired driver himself. He has to live with this for the rest of his life, as do we all who are connected in any way. So regrettable and preventable.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Peg and I were talking about situations like Chris’s and how for all the miles we have driven we have been fortunate not to have come across accidents like this. Our son in law, Michael, was not so lucky and having come upon an accident with injury and maiming and death on the spot he has continued to have nightmares and daymares for years since. It’s hard to understand why drivers can think it’s no big thing to drive impaired and to put themselves and others at risk. But, I guess we humans aren’t so great about doing what we should.

    Still, while we can’t turn back the clock, it’s good that we can appreciate what we had in the wonderful examples such as your brother leave us. Maybe knowing them helps make us better people. God bless you, Carol.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Peter. I will be praying for your son in law that he may find peace and healing from such a traumatic event. Yes, we are so fortunate in many ways. I write about Chris both to honor him and to put a human face on a statistic, and hopefully bring more awareness to the issue of driving under the influence of any mind-altering drug; or, for that matter, distracted driving such as driving while texting. It’s all so dangerous and so preventable. May you receive many blessings in turn. And, I am exceedingly glad you never had such an experience in your many years of travel.

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