Today marks 11 months since my brother was yanked from our lives. He was killed in a horrific and totally preventable car accident. It has been eleven months of soul searching and dealing with the turmoil of emotions that his sudden passing left in its wake.

So this morning I wrote my victim impact statement and all the while I wrote it I was wrapped in a sense of unreality – a dream-like state. It still seems so surreal. How can words ever convey the impact his death has had? And does anybody outside of family and friends even care?  I so desperately need to know that it matters – That his death will count for something. My brother was killed when an impaired driver crashed head on into my brother’s van. It adds salt to the wound, his needless and preventable death.

Yet thousands are killed on the roadways every year. What will it take for people to take the message to heart – impaired driving tears families apart every day – both the families of the deceased and the families of the impaired drivers. I would not wish this pain on anyone. So please, do not get behind the wheel of a car if you are impaired in any way. Don’t text and drive. Don’t drink and drive. Don’t take drugs and drive. Just don’t!

12 thoughts on “Eleven months gone

  1. to many senseless deaths cause by stupidity they know the difference but the devils juice takes over there mind it gives them power to feel what they do is ok its unreal they dont hardly get anything for it just a slap on the wrist then out to do same thing over again its sad sorry carol for your loss dont let it go unheard the day is coming for the person who did this what goes around comes around your brother is looking down on you guys this moment hes the angel god wanted to be by his side loves u carol and god does too

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  2. I lost my daughter when a 16 year old with mental illness and drug problems hit her car killing my daughter and her friend Tyler, she purposely ran her car into them going near 100mph, Wednesday is her sentencing for one of the two charges in her plea agreement, I write a lot, but I have not even started to write my letter to the judge that I will be reading out loud, it was a year in June for us so my heart is with you as the anniversary date comes, I mostly wanted to just say I relate…

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    1. First of all I am so very, very sorry for your loss. I am also a mother and I cannot even begin to fathom what pain you must be feeling. My brother has two teen-aged children and it is mostly what those kids are going through that weighs heavily on my mind. To lose a parent at such a difficult age – well I cannot imagine their pain either.

      Thank you so much for sharing your story – as heartbreaking as it is. My thoughts will be with you as well – it is an experience I would never wish on anybody. I hope that we both will find some sense of justice and closure when it is all over with – words are failing me, some days mere words seem like such a useless tool to express what’s in my heart… know you are not alone and I wish you the blessings of comfort and peace….sincerely,

      Carol

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      1. Thank you, I happened to see a glimpse of what you wrote and it was exactly what I was trying to do at that moment, well actually what I am still trying to do. I know there are no words, I’ve learned that, I just wanted to let you know that I understand ❤

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      2. I finished mine and just posted it, I did not say that is what my post was, but it is and you helped me. Just knowing others are out there and we all have to find a way to do these things gave me the determination to get it done ❤

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      3. Thank you! It does help to know I am not alone. My heart is broken both for my personal loss, but also for yours. I am praying for your comfort and peace. I hope it helps to know that sharing your story has touched a stranger in Canada. This is hard stuff – harder than most people can imagine. Wishing you the blessing of people to share your burdens, but also your joys.

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      4. Thank you, Sentencing was yesterday, it was rough and today felt kind of numb, but I got through it and my daughter even got up and said something. Super emotional day, you and your nieces and the rest of your family will get through it as well, just stay strong.

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      5. Thank you for all your kindness. May the road ahead be smoother and less difficult for you and your family. The trial for my brother’s killer begins on the 6th of November and will take most of the month to complete. I appreciate your support. thank you!

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